I am unhappy
Nights like this
Sipping wine and listening to Portishead
Wondering if there is anyone else in this world who feels the way I do
Almost angry even
In contention with the present moment
Completely tangled in emotional filth
Wanting to reach out but having no one with an outstretched arm & a helping hand attached
but not sleepy
Insomnia dances with the uncontrollable thoughts which plague my very existence
What do you want?
Why do you torment me so?
What is it that I am supposed to be doing to be happy?
Where is it that I am failing?
Why am I so
My eyebrows furrowed and my lips pursed
I remind myself that such expressions cause wrinkles
I readjust my face
I tell myself it’s alright
Everyone gets lonely
I take a deep breath and collect myself
I get on with it
because that’s what people do, don’t they?
They suck it up and move the fuck on
Quit crying and get up
What do you want from me, life?
What do I have to do in order for you to give me a fucking break?
Who do I have to be in order to be happy?
Because being myself isn’t cutting it…